my grammar could hit the target from that distance

The revolution has begun. No longer will we put up with dodgy speeling, misplaced apostrophes' or improper; punctuation? P.S. pointing out bad grammar in postings is banned. To justify this I'm applying a form of grammatical 'absolute privilege', as the public interest in publishing mistakes far outweighs the cost to the public of making further mistakes. Call me a hypocrite if you will, but it works in Westminster.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Holt this madness

Spotted by Will, the Daily Mirror at their best.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Ugg, woman cause tarzan problem

City Road, Cardiff

Surely it should be women rather than woman? Otherwise it sounds like something Tarzan would say.














This isn't a grammatical mistake, but the bulding name made me giggle like the child I am. Courtesy of my housemate, not sure what he's been importing...

Monday, May 29, 2006

On apostrophes

There's fun to be had with apostrophes. In Eats, Shoots and Leaves Lynne Truss recounted an example of grafitti on a road sign saying "Nigga's Out", under which some clever dick had written "but he'll be back soon".

It works the other way around, too, of course; I mentioned Finnegans Wake, for example, in a comment below. We also have:


















Which ought not to be a statement that one's friends are entrancing, but an entrace for friends. A friends' entrance.

And:


















Which is not some writers ruminating on the nature of time, but the time for people to grill some writers. Writers' question time.

The best thing: these both came from Hay-On-Wye Literary Festival.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Somebody Tell Thousand...

...They're giving away his shirts.

It's all over... It is now

Oh, and tell www.kitbag.com that they could see a £5 drop in their shares.

Also, this is an opportune time to bring up the fact that Nestlé are shits. Just in case anyone thought we were giving them coverage gratis.

Retro shirts: retro grammar

Nestle make chocolate. They're also leaping on the Summer of Football my offering you a chance to win a 'retro shirt'. By golly!

But they may run into problems judging by their promotional website:

"Win a retro shirt 1,000's to be won"

(I would do a screengrab but I'm a technical retard. If a more competent contributor than myself would like to rectify this, then be my guest)

What depresses me if the most is they've clearly released the need for a comma in 1,000, but are oblivious to not only the flagrant misuse of an apostrophe, but also the crying need for some form of punctuation.

Imagine if the Milkybar Kid had proclaimed: "The Milkybar's are on me!" Nestle could have been faced with lawsuits, crying children and possibly a riot on their hands. Is a piece of chocolate worth this pain? Arguably not.

Just plain weird

#14 An odd one from my Milton Keynes outing offering a wafer to "the littles". Are they a race of really short people that believe symbols of bears will fend off evil spirits? I LITERALLY have no idea.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

MK Wrongs

At last - a spelling mistake after an excess of apostrophes found recently. This one was spotted on my first and last trip to Milton Keynes.

#13 in one of the many miles of shopping arcades that they count as culture in Milton Keynes.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

The Arcade Dire

Two shopping centres, neither of them can get it right. I know they're both names but that's no excuse.

#11 "Queens Arcade" in Cardiff

















#12 "St Davids Centre" in Cardiff

Friday, May 19, 2006

Complete with chest wig, and everything!

Polly Toynbee comments on the Guardian's blog site about anonymous abusive emails. She is particularly unkind to Tim Worstall.

Tim Worstall you pendant, what on earth is your life and view of the world? Do you ever see the light of day?

Heh.

Neon ridiculous

It seems to be much easier to find apostrophes in the wrong place (or not there at all), than it is to find spelling mistakes and the like. I heard a rumour that somewhere around Albany Road there's a sign saying "Chef wanted: apple within" or something similar. Twenty I-Spy points for a photo of that one.

#10 St Mary's Street (or is it St. Mary Street?), Cardiff. You'd think if you were making something in neon you might get it right.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Literally

A tangent post as this is something that I'm a big fan of - use of the word literally when you mean the exact opposite. I think my love for it came from Geordie's loud (and possibly drunken) screams of abuse at a judge at the Mirror Awards who said they were 'literally swamped with entries this year".

This is going to be a continuing post, so add your own spots in the comments bit and I'll link it on the front page.

I'll get things going with a few of my favourites that have made me laugh my head off, literally.

  • "I literally hovered round the newsroom all day" (visiting ITV journalist at CJS).
  • "Gareth Jenkins has Llanelli literally running through his veins" (script of a local radio journalist, half an hour after I had had a rant about improper use of the word literally. I've got photographic evidence of this one, but it seems too cruel).
  • "When the true details of Iraq came to light, the government found the wheels literally came off" (a JOMEC professor, but not J-Lew).

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

A debate

My housemate says this doesn't need anything else because it's a name. Just to confirm, that is 100% WRONG isn't it? Does it belong to Spiller, or Spillers or is it a statement that he/she records things?

#9 My tshirt, Cardiff

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Councilation prize (Worst. Pun. Ever.)

There's hundreds of these signs in Cardiff, and they're all wrong. Good to see the council don't waste money on a proofreader. Maybe they're actually saying that residents only permit holders of some unknown object to park there?

#8 Near Gary's house, Cardiff.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Horizontal good, vertical bad

Chuffing mint

#7 Whitchurch Road, Cardiff

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Too cool for shcool

This one breaks the rules because I didn't take it myself. However, I didn't want Will to be the only person receiving bonus points for irony. I'm not entirely convinced that it's real but I love it anyway.

#6

Minehead part 2

Found this little gem from my Minehead photos. I was obviously in a very picky mood that week, or maybe Minehead is a particular hotspot. And don't worry Will, I'm sure no-one would say anything if you hung around a school with a camera. That guy from COMMENT DELETED DUE TO DEFAMATION LAW did it all the time and he's doing alright now.

#4 (#5? I've lost count already)

Not a nonce

I'm not going to take a picture of this one in case I get carted away and burned but the school round the corner from me (Gladstone?) has two signs next to each other saying, 'Vistors Entrance' and 'Childrens Entrance'. Excusable perhaps. But on a BLOODY school.

On another note, did anyone watch Never Mind the Full Stops? It was rubbish! And David Aaronovitch thought 'its' as a possessive was its'. Honk.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Minehead

Here's a couple of my favourites I spotted when I was in Minehead a while ago.
















#2 Eddy's/Eddies Amazing Pizza Factory. I particularly love this one as Eddy/Eddie clearly doesn't even know how to spell his own name, let alone whether it deserves an apostrophe (also note the excellent grammar on the limousine advert in the bottom left-hand corner - credit where credit's due).
















#3 You'd think Tesco could afford a proof-reader for a leaflet that was going to be printed a million times? Eddie/Eddy gets away with it because he's one guy just trying to make amazing pizzas. Tesco should be shut down.

Rats indeed

The invite email Robbie sent me:

I urge you to join me in the fight against badly written signs. I can't
promise you freedom, I can't promise you social status, but I can
promise you correctly uses apostrophes. Fight the machine brothers.


(Sorry Robbie.)

Rats

I'll get things started in the 2 minutes I've got. Incidentally, I should say that no points are given for pointing out errors made in the blog. That's just petty.
















#1 Reduced rats, spotted in central London, somewhere near Berwick Street.